Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Attack of the old journals!

I am just dying here, people. DIE-ING. Today is the day to pack up all the books. Actually, it was yesterday, but I'm never, ever on time since becoming a mom of two. Which is kind of a pain since being late and behind schedule gives me these really fun panic attacks. And digressing and getting sidetracked just like I'm doing at this second (by 1 - writing and 2 - getting off topic in my writing) are doing nothing to help. So back to the subject. These old journals? I'm flipping through some of them and I want to just puke. I've only kept journals since college, so the oldest are 12 years old. I can't believe I was that person. Was I really that person? Say it ain't so. Please. I'll pay you, make you the most amazing chocolate cheesecake ever - anything you want. Tell me I was not that stupid, self-centered and flat-out dumb. Here's my thing: I'm so tempted to throw at least some of them away that I'm considering not packing them so it will be easier to trash them. But does throwing them away help to erase the past? I don't believe in re-writing the past and changing it to be more convienent and pleasing to remember. Or HA HA HA maybe I really do, especially when I think of people I know and like and respect reading them one day. My kids? Reading those journals? Aasdfasdlfkhsadljkhasdf (I don't know how else to type out the sound that just escaped my body when that thought went through my head) It just can't happen. Truly, there are things I've written on this blog that I already regret. If I were to do a do-over, I'd most likely be anonymous, with pseudonyms for the kids and hub. But too late for that! Just like too late for those terrible, horrible 12 year old journals! Anyway - the stuff I regret on this blog - it's not as bad as the journals. Not even close. But I've reread some stuff and thought "man, you're dumb" or "I can't believe you would've overreacted like that and then shared it with the universe. Dork." I really, really need this shirt. Question time: what do you do/have you done with those old journals? The ones that make you cringe and almost hork and find your eyes rolling away under fast moving cars? Those ones.

3 Comments:

At 4/26/2006 12:02:00 PM, Blogger Rachelle said...

Don't throw them away. I think they make great learning lessons. I have some doozies, but I hope that by them I can teach my children what made me who I am, what I did at their age, the things I regret, the things I did good, etc. I hope it will be a learning lesson for future generations.

 
At 4/27/2006 08:40:00 AM, Blogger Awesome Mom said...

Keep them but lock them up very well so that your kids can only read them after you are dead. I actually read some of my mother's journals from when she was a teenager and it was very enlightening. I felt a bit closer to her afterwoards. But then I think she would have freaked if she had known I was reading them.

 
At 4/27/2006 10:36:00 AM, Blogger Steven Oakford said...

Don't throw them away. Burn them.

 

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