Wednesday, March 22, 2006

eviction notice to the death germ

Dear Death Germ, Please see that you have every one of your belongings - and every single one of your followers - and remove yourself from the premises at once. You moved in the week of Thanksgiving. You tried to acheive domination over my family in December, and you almost won. By January we thought you had left, but in retrospect, we see you were planning The Next Great Battle. From mid-February until the present you have been nothing less than a pain in my butt, causing my child to be sick for almost a month straight (don't go on and on about how you've let him be healthy for a few days in between flus, it wasn't that generous of you), and causing me to live the life of an invalid who has nothing to do besides wash, dry and fold puked upon laundry. I understand that we're a really nice family living in a comfortable home, and you needed somewhere to needed somewhere to bunk up for the winter. But really - you moved in during the fall and technically, it's Spring now. Be gone. Thank you kindly, The Family That Would Rather Be Rarely-Home But Has Been Practically Nothing-But Home since The Death Germ Moved In. So, to everyone else: Today was great, until an hour ago. Because an hour ago, I heard Jacob - who was sleeping in his room - cough a few times. Then he started crying. I discovered the coughing was really the prelude to puke, which was all over Jacob, the bed, his hair - the pillow, etc. Everywhere. So I changed him and cleaned him up and wrapped him in a new blanket and plopped him on the couch and gave him juice. About twenty minutes later: cough, cough, cough, PUKE. So we got into the tub this time. Then Jacobs friend, Anna who we were watching, woke up. And Josh got hungry. Anna and Jake were playing and splashing and I got Jake out and dressed and we were all walking down the hall into the living room and...cough cough puke. Again. On the carpet. So I called Anna's mom to come get her (now gone) and am trying hard to keep Jacob still, but he is just not cooperating at all.

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