warning labels

I just cut Jake a piece of cheese (and am laughing extra hard when I re-read that because it reads oh-so-close to "cut the cheese") and noticed for the first time a warning label. On cheese. It reads: Warning: Made with milk or milk derivatives. What? Cheese is made with milk? No... And then I was reminded of the warning labels on Jake's "fruit snacks" (yo-go's): Warning: made with milk and soy products. So, ok - the soy I wouldn't have guessed. But again with the milk? Yogurt = milk ---> not so hard a connection. And then I started thinking about what obvious warning label could get slapped on my forehead right now.

Warning: Emotionally fragile until mid-July. Those nearby are encouraged to back away slowly.

What would your warning label say?