Monday, July 10, 2006

Adoption. And Talking. And Talking about Adoption.

(ok - not the best family picture ever, but taken on Fathers Day, this is the most recent) So. In California, our transracial family didn't get too many stares when we were out in public. Or in private. (Hee hee. Because staring at myself in private? Not so fun.) I, in fact, had many people make comments that led me to realize they thought that both Jacob and Josh were my biological children. In fact, one lady at the post office came up to me and made a comment along the lines of "you show 'em how it's done, sister!" And I giggled, because it was funny. But. We've been in Utah for three whole days. Not even 3! And the stares? A lot more than three! It does not bother me one bit that people are silently oohing and aahing at my children, which is what - I am sure - is happening. The children, they are adorable. (consult above picture for photographic evidence) But I feel odd being stared at. Even on my/our wedding day I felt oddly uncomfortable being the center of attention. Anyhow. This will probably be something I will need to get used to quickly. The good part of the looks: we get to talk about adoption. A lot. The good part of that: I love adoption. I love talking. Talking about adoption? Party! [Sidenote about the love of talking: My friend Rebecca and I were talking on the phone for only the 3rd or so time last week. I adore her. I wish we were next-door neighbors. [Sidenote to the side note: Dear Rebecca, Does that fact that I get slightly giddy when I get to call you "friend" freak you out? Because I am not a stalker, I swear. Even though I'm not supposed to swear. Love, Julie P.S. Does the fact that I ended the note to you with "love" freak you out? I'm not a stalker, remember? p.p.s. I'm about to quote some of our phone conversation...hope that's ok.] Back to the original sidenote: My friend Rebecca made a comment on the phone that "hey! We're almost like twins! We're both LDS and we both have 1 bio kid and 1 adopted kid and one is white and one is black, BUT", she said "I am the twin that talks more." Dear Rebecca, it is because I'm slightly shy upon first "meeting" someone and because you had the benefit of my being slightly polite at the same time that you got more words in. We are officially over the shy/polite stage. Prepare to be out-talked. Talk soon! Julie] So! We have established! I talk. A lot. And - I've been though quite a lot in terms of adoption experiences in just a short 18 months. SO. When we had one woman approach us at our new favorite restaurant in Cedar City on Saturday night I was excited! Someone wanted to talk to me! About adoption! See, it would be kind of hard for our family to pretend that one member of our family is not adopted. So it makes us easy "targets" for the topic. And yesterday, when we had to stop and get new tires in Beaver, Utah, the guy putting the tires on our car started talking to Nathan about adoption. They have 2 bio kids and are looking into adopting their 3rd child and wanted more information. And I was happy to listen and talk and share. I even gave him my e-mail for him to pass along to his wife and oh, how I hope she uses it. A new friend to talk to. About adoption! So. In closing (finally) - while getting looked at is going to take me a little getting used to (duh, Julie - they're not looking at you anymore...), I love the opportunities that our colorful family has already had to talk and share and educate people around us about the blessing adoption can be. And I just realized I have a whole lot more to say about the "educating" people about adoption. but, lucky, you - that will wait for another post.

4 Comments:

At 7/10/2006 04:19:00 PM, Blogger Amber said...

As soon as I read "unsuccessful perfectionist," I KNEW this was the blog for me. Thanks for a great read!

 
At 7/10/2006 05:00:00 PM, Blogger Bek said...

GREAT PICTURE!!!!!!!

We just might be neighbors yet. I need to marry off one of my kids to one of yours....I don't even care which ones......

Just today while I swimming lessons I had three people (that is one every 7 minutes) talk to me about adoption. I don't mind, but it drives Lauren crazy. Mostly when people ask, it is because they are adopting (all of the ones who talked to me today were) or they know someone who did, etc....

We could be a lethal combination of talking. We could power a small country. I don't mind being called friend, I love it. In fact, I don't even mind being stalked. :-) It is great to have you to bounce things off. You saved me this week and you JUST MIGHT have altered the state of my family........ (fingers crossed, pray, fingers crossed, pray).

Hope you find more families in Utah that look like yours....

 
At 7/10/2006 05:54:00 PM, Anonymous StacyDesigns said...

Dear RHM,
We all know that you LOVE being the center of attention. Don't even try denying that. Saying that you love talking but don't like being the center of attention would be a LARGE contradiction.

Poor quiet little Josh had to get adopted into a family of motor mouths. He will NEVER get a word in edgewise. Even Jacob can't shut up.
-Your Loving Sister

 
At 7/11/2006 12:21:00 PM, Blogger The Pyatts said...

I'm so glad that you have arrived safely in Utah, and I hope that the remaining time until your house is done goes quickly.

 

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