open letter to the neighbors

Dear Neighbors, I'm sorry for your very rude 6:30 am wake up call. See, this is how it happened. I was in the middle of trying to do four things at once (an improvement on yesterdays 10 things at once) when Jacob started playing with my car keys. I thought it was a fan-tas-tic way for Jacob to keep himself occupied at 6:30 am, seeing as how he'd already been awake for 90 minutes. Yes, people, if you think your 6:30 wake up call was early, try 5:00 am. Anyway, I forgot that Jacob knows that the buttons on the car key make the car go "beep", and that he really likes to hear the car go "beep." I also forgot one button was red. And that he likes red. I remembered all this when I heard a car alarm go off, and I thought that someone in our building was being very insensitive at that early hour. Why weren't they turning it off already!!! Wait. Car alarm. Jacob. My keys. In his hand. IT'S MY CAR. Of course, Dear Neighbors, now was probably not the time to fiddle with the car key and try to figure out which button to push to make the beeping stop. Just for future reference, and in case it's your car one day waking me up (we would not want that, now, would we?), NONE of the buttons work. In this case, two negatives does not actually equal a positive, meaning, pushing the button that started this whole mess will not make it stop. Trying to unlock the doors using the button won't work, either. So that, Dear Neighbors, is why you saw me dart out the door in my pajamas at 6:30 this morning, open the car door, start the engine - which FINALLY stopped the beeping - stop the engine, and hurry back into my house. Except I couldn't really hurry back inside. Because Jacob was standing at the front door trying to watch the whole thing, and when he saw mommy walking back, he promptly shut the door in my face. You'd think this whole wake up call was MY fault, by the look on his face and the door slam. Anyway, it probably won't happen again. And by probably, I mean it won't happen again this month. Kind Regards, The Rarely-Home Mom